Filed under Learning Spanish

Talking to Ghosts

Isabel Allende is teaching me Spanish.

Isabel Allende is teaching me Spanish. So is Mario Vargas Llosa. All the greats. They can be your teachers, too. All you need are their books, a dictionary, and Anki flashcards.

I thought the better I knew Spanish, the more equipped I’d be to speak to my Grandma Eva, and especially her mom and dad, Josefa and Antonio, who never learned English, in my dreams. I mean, just supposing it would ever come to that. They’re no longer on earth, but perhaps deep sleep will be our medium. I realize this is an odds game.

Well. I had The Dream. Antonio and Josefa, my great-grandparents, were dark figures, flitting about in the back rooms of this rustic house. They were unreachable. It was in Oakland. There was a lot of hay.

Grandma Eva was busy at work, at the kitchen table which was covered in a red checkered tablecloth. On the table were buckets of water.

Mira, Abuelita. Hablo castellano ahora, como tú, I said.

“I don’t know why you’re bothering with this,” she said. “You’re in America.”

She hasn’t changed.

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Oh, You Mean Tampons?

My friend Natalia has just left us on our own, to take her bus back home, in front of the farmacia, so I can buy tampons. It is a necessity that cannot be avoided, and, as my Spanish teacher for many years, back when she was living in San Fancisco until she moved home to Madrid, where we are now,  two years ago, Natalia undoubtedly felt this would be the best moment for me to put myself to a true test of immersion.

However, there are no boxes of tampons to be seen anywhere on any wall in this farmacia.

I never expected a test this difficult. I don’t know if I could handle it in English, in fact. We just pick these things up from the shelves and put them on the counter back home; we never have to actually discuss the contents.

“Excuse me,” I ask the one woman employee. “Do you have any, ahem, feminine products?”

“I’m sorry?” she says, meaning I will need to use more words.

“You know, for women, when it’s that time of the month?”

“Oh! You mean tampons!”

“Yes!” I say.

“You have to ask my partner,” she says, referring to the guy at the cash register.

Oh.

We stand in line as I accept my fate. My heart rate increases, and I feel myself developing a cold sweat, and I wonder if it might have been easier starting with maybe coffee or maybe a bocadillo.

Within a minute, I hear someone whisper, “Hey!”

I look, and she winks at me, having left a box on the counter.

———–

It’s been over 100 degrees here in Madrid, I think, since we got here, more or less. The only thing that makes it bearable is that there are plenty of trees and that we have come to an unspoken agreement that we will walk very slowly and stop for cerveza or sangria when the moment appeals to us, which has been, at least today, several times.

It is for this that today’s post shall be very short. But I must state for the record that I am in bliss, for a couple of reasons, and today’s reason is that I have been reunited with my friend and Spanish teacher Natalia. After my first visit to Spain five years ago, I came to the painful realization that after months of Pimsleur tapes and Rosetta Stone, that I really didn’t speak Spanish at all. So I answered Natalia’s ad on Craigslist, and for the next two or so years, for an hour once a week, sometimes more, we met in some hole-in-the-wall cafe in San Francisco, to talk about anything under the sun, always in Spanish. It was cheaper than therapy, and somehow, without even becoming too aware of it, I simultaneously became at least somewhat fluent in Spanish, at least fluent enough to buy tampons.

I promised her I would visit her in Spain, when she moved back nearly two years ago. I never knew when that would happen, but I meant it. I thought it might be many years from now.  Then came the other reason why I am in bliss, who shall, for the moment, at least, remain anonymous, but here we are, in Spain, and we have two more weeks left, and I will keep you updated. You know me. I can’t help it.

Oh, By the Way

I’m going to Spain tomorrow.

¡Soy Latina!

Hey, that’s what they told me the other day at my local taquería. They said I speak Spanish like a “latina”.

Except that if I spoke like a latina, they wouldn’t have to stop and tell me that I spoke Spanish like a latina. How many gringos do you meet whom you tell that they speak English like gringos?

What it means is that people are nice.

 

Research

I have not strayed too far. I have been merely conducting research. I’ve been reading perhaps one of the best blogs ever written, by someone who goes by the name “La Miss.” Of course, you have to speak Spanish to understand the true intricacies of her brilliance, but the bright side is, you don’t have to know it that well. Anyway, to illustrate what makes La Miss unique, here I shall attempt to translate for you her most recent post, dated November 23rd, 2007. Continue reading

Lágrimas

Today I received the saddest message from my Spanish teacher Natalia. I suppose I should be happy for her, for returning home to Madrid for the first time in say a billion years. And it’s not like I wasn’t forewarned. She’d only been planning the return for nearly a year. But after the ticket snafu that preempted her flight a year ago, I took it for granted that she’d really be staying in San Francisco forever, despite all the subtle clues, like shopping for a ticket, stuff like that.

So I sent her an e-mail to reschedule our bi-weekly conversation hour from Tuesday to Wednesday for blah blah reasons. And she responded to tell me that last Saturday, she bought her ticket, and she’s going home on Monday. That means today. Who knows, she could be in the air right now as I type.

Errata

Miguel has complained that in my last report, I seem to depict him as an alcoholic, and he would like me to correct the dialogue in which I misquote him as saying, “I was drunk.” This is, in fact, because he never really said that, that was an embellishment on my part, but the other parts of the exchange are 100% verbatum. And he would also like me to clarify that he only had a couple of drinks prior to suggestiong that we go on the Mundane Journey. And he did not, in fact, say, “What the f—!” but “This sucks!” Continue reading

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